Understanding the Process of Negotiation with Charles Hopkins, Negotiation Works Ambassador
By Kristen Wall, Negotiation Works volunteer
Charles has been a Negotiation Works Ambassador since July 2021 and has helped develop the Ambassador newsletter. “As Ambassadors, we educate people about the negotiation process. We can agree to disagree. A disagreement is not fatal and should not have to be fatal. If you have an issue and you think it is not being addressed, you have a method for how to get it done.” Charles emphasizes that by understanding another person’s interests and positions, a person who is negotiating can create more options for a solution that both parties can accept.
Before he learned negotiation, Charles said, he would go into a conversation focused only on his perspective and wouldn’t listen to the other side. He sees a similar approach taken by other people and he wants to make a difference by showing there’s another way. “Negotiation gives people an understanding of how to resolve conflict without being contentious or thinking it’s always their way or no way.”
Charles participated in a Negotiation Works training when he was involved in the Georgetown Pivot leadership and entrepreneurship program in 2020 as part of his re-entry after coming home from prison. At the training, Charles recalls being surprised to discover that negotiation has a structured process. He realized, “There’s a structure to this, and if I can understand the structure, I can be effective if I need to represent my issue and find a resolution.” He saw that he and the other participants in the Pivot Program were analyzing conversations based on tone of voice, but they were not considering why someone might be saying what they were saying – that their interests and positions were motivating the discussions.
“I’m coming out of the prison experience. In prison, I’m not prone to look at other’s perspectives or to be objective – I’m coming out of an environment where that’s not the norm.” With negotiation skills, Charles is now equipped with the principles and process he needs to be more effective when a dispute arises. “It has put me in a position to better resolve conflict and problems. I automatically know there’s another interest involved. Before I didn’t consider that. I now listen and see what their position is, and I realize that we might be arguing the exact same dadgone thing. I have tools and insight to be able to resolve a problem with little resistance and come out with a resolution which will be something all parties will agree to.”
A process of give and take
Before he learned about negotiation, Charles says his attitude was “my way or the highway” and he didn’t see the point of listening to the other side. “I have my problems – why do I want to listen to yours?” He describes his previous mentality, and the mentality he frequently sees in others as: “everything is about what’s of interest to ME. There’s not another side. Whatever I want is more important than what you’re talking about. This results in conflict and anger, and the situation might get contentious to the point of getting physical simply because I’m not listening.” Before he was introduced to negotiation, he says, he could become antagonistic during a dispute.
Charles emphasizes that negotiation gives us a process to understand how our interests are related. He describes it as a process of give and take, back and forth. “If you don’t see negotiation as a process, your positions are going to be paramount and there will be no room for compromise… [Without negotiation] I’m looking at this like ‘I’m taking and you’re giving’, not that I’m both taking and giving you something in return. You have to look at the other person’s side; you have to understand what they want and how to come up with some options for what you want. If you don’t understand that, you will never get anything done.” Having a process to identify your own and others’ positions, interests, and options opens the door to a fruitful conversation.
Using negotiation to keep housing
Negotiation helped Charles successfully navigate a difficult housing and employment situation. Six months after leaving prison, Charles was unhoused and living in a shelter. He was able to find work and apply successfully for housing under a low income housing agreement. However, he discovered that the stipend he earned as part of the Georgetown Pivot Program plus the salary from his job put him several hundred dollars over the low income housing requirement, which put his housing in jeopardy. To both keep his housing and stay in the Georgetown program, he needed to leave his job, and his leasing office required notice from his employer that he was no longer working.
Charles explains how he applied the process of negotiation to this dilemma. He first identified his own interests – he wanted to keep his housing and he wanted to keep open the possibility of working with his employer after the Pivot Program ended. He also analyzed the position and interests of both his lease officer and his employer. He realized his lease officer did not have room to negotiate because his stipend plus his income clearly made him ineligible for his low income housing program. Because his supervisor wanted him to keep working in his position, she didn’t want to give him the letter verifying he was no longer working there. Charles quickly realized that he and his supervisor had complementary–not competing– interests, so he told his supervisor that if he did not find a job after completing the Pivot Program he would like to come back to his job and resume working for her. In the end, his supervisor agreed to write the letter verifying his resignation, Charles kept his housing, and his supervisor contacted him after the Pivot Program ended to offer him his previous job. Negotiation helped Charles successfully navigate a high stakes and complex situation.
Giving back
In prison, Charles notes, small things get magnified. He imagines that if negotiation training were available in prison, “if you had people coming in to tell you how to resolve issues and leave disputes with a sense of understanding” it would help people feel that compromising wouldn’t undermine someone’s sense of integrity or manhood. It would lower the temperature and de-escalate conflict.
Charles wants negotiation to become a tool used by the courts and in juvenile agencies and with high schoolers who are at risk of violence. “For those in the criminal justice system and in society, it opens the door to more opportunities if negotiation becomes part of your culture, your environment.” He believes that when people opt to use negotiation, they can take a step back and reflect on their own and the other party’s interests, positions, and desired outcomes. Taking these steps can open up flexibility and options for compromise that didn’t exist before. “So as an Ambassador, it’s important that we go and educate people on this process. Every problem shouldn’t have to result in some kind of violence or become so heated that people don’t talk,” he says.
Charles is grateful for family and friends and for the assistance of Negotiation Works staff. He’s also grateful that he now has an opportunity to give back to others. He remembers how difficult it was when he returned home from prison, and he wants to be there for others to let them know they can get through the challenges. “Somebody gave to me and genuinely helped me and I want the people I’m dealing with to feel the same way.” Negotiation Works is grateful to have Charles as an advocate and spokesperson for negotiation and looks forward to more working and learning together.