How Does Trauma Affect the Way We Negotiate?

Women who are experiencing homelessness, returning to the community from prison, or living in domestic violence shelters need strong negotiation skills to manage their interactions with case managers, potential employers, landlords, family, and friends as they try to get their lives in order. Many of these women, however, lack the skills that would make them effective negotiators.

Studies show that women who have experienced significant trauma, either in childhood or as adults, often struggle when navigating conflicts. Researchers from Harvard’s Center on the Developing Child explain that people who endure repeated trauma early in life can develop both strengthened “fight or flight” reactions to everyday stresses and also reduced efficacy in the “executive function” areas of the brain which are responsible for planning and self-regulation. In the negotiation context, this plays out in one of two ways: when a woman who has experienced trauma confronts a conflict -- an employer who demands that she work overtime, a landlord who fails to replace a broken window, or a co-parent who is unwilling to take the children to medical appointments -- she perceives the situation as a threat and either turns away without attempting to get her needs met (a “flight” reaction, or conflict-avoiding response) or digs in her heels, refusing to consider the other person’s perspective (a “fight” reaction, or competitive response). These reactions, though helpful or necessary in some circumstances, typically lead to poor outcomes.

The good news? These patterns are not set in stone. Women can learn better skills with the right supports.

The Harvard Center for the Developing Child has found that interventions that enhance an individual’s ability to plan, focus, and exert self-control -- “executive function” skills -- can help overcome counter-productive fight-or-flight tendencies. Negotiation skills programs fit this bill. These courses, long taught in academic and professional settings, are based on research demonstrating that collaborative approaches to managing conflict are generally more effective, in both the short- and long-term, than avoiding and competitive approaches. Negotiation skills courses teach problem-solving strategies for addressing everyday interactions and lead to improved management of interpersonal conflicts.

Negotiation Works has combined the research about the effects of childhood trauma with best practices for teaching negotiation and has developed a set of customized negotiation skills courses for women living in homeless or domestic violence shelters or recently released from prison, communities that desperately need -- but have never had access to -- such programs. Our courses give the women a framework they can use to address difficult situations intentionally, strategically, and collaboratively. Each class gives the women a chance to practice assessing interests and options and helps them think through how their ongoing negotiations --with employers, partners, teachers, and others -- will play out over time. In sum, the Negotiation Works courses help the women develop the tools they need to manage conflict with confidence and creativity, so that despite their experiences with trauma and other setbacks, they can move forward and lead positive, productive lives.